A Reminder of Our Limitations

As I go through most days I don't give much thought to the limitations due to my disabilities. I know I can't walk, but with my electric wheelchair I can move around quite easily. I have enough use of my arms so I can do a variety of things for and with my sweetheart, DebbieLynne. That allows us to be "just the two of us" for much of the day.

As much as I would like to, I can't do everything for DebbieLynne. She, too, would like to be able to do everything for me. But due to our limitations we do what we can for each other, and rely on the help of others for the rest.

For the things we can't do for one another, we need the help of people serving as personal care attendants. Today we learned that the woman who has been helping get DebbieLynne to bed on Sunday and Wednesday evenings, and help her get up Sunday mornings, will no longer be able to do so, starting this Sunday, the day after tomorrow. Due to an unexpected situation the woman is moving out of state.

One lady from church has already offered to help this Sunday evening and again on this coming Wednesday evening. That generous offer took some of the pressure off of us. Once we find somebody for this Sunday morning we'll be able to move on to trying to locate and hire somebody who can do those time slots on a regular basis.

Deb and I would sure like it if we were not disabled and could be the ones helping others less able than ourselves. But Deb didn't choose to be born with minimal use of her arms and legs. And I didn't choose to become paralyzed by polio when I was six years old. So we do whatever we can and appreciate the help others provide to do what we can't do on our own.

Being reminded of our limitations does have the benefit of bringing to mind that everyone has certain limitations that can only be met by God. We both need help when it comes to thoroughly washing up physically. Everybody needs the help of Jesus to be thoroughly washed up spiritually. ("If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 ESV)

People near and far are praying for God to provide a new personal care attendant for the times DebbieLynne now needs help. Whoever that person is will be paid for the work she does, so hopefully that money will be a help to her.

Thank you for your prayers. We thank God for you, and for those who are helping and will be helping us do what our limitations don't allow us to do for ourselves.

Treat My Wife With Respect Not Condecension

When my wife, Deb, lived in California she often went shopping and to the movie theater and elsewhere on her own. People there welcomed her at their places of business and were glad to have her business. That is how things should be for everyone, even those who like my wife who happen to use a wheelchair.

Today Deb and I were in Boston. We enjoyed being at the Boston Commons. We rolled along Charles Street. We had lunch at B'Goods on Washington Street at Downtown Crossing.

Then we went to Quincy Market so DebbieLynne could have a nice Cannoli. Before I got the pastry I took the elevator down to the restroom. DebbieLynne waited for me in the public eating area. That's when our pleasant day in Boston turned sour.

A security guard came over and asked DebbieLynne "Is your friend coming back?" There was no need for the woman to ask that question. The guard wasn't going around asking anybody else who happened to be sitting alone such a question. But DebbieLynne answered, "Yes, he's coming back."

"Good," the woman responded, "I just didn't want you to be alone."

"I'm Ok, geez" retorted DebbieLynne, aggravated that this woman didn't think she was qualified to sit by herself in a public place.

The security guard then walked about 10 feet away and stayed there, keeping an eye on my wife.

After a time the woman summed another security guard to stand with Debbielynne while that guard went off looking for me. My wife was obviously upset by this treament. What if she decided to go somewhere else? Would they follow her? Would they try to prevent her from leaving the area?

When I got back and found out what was going I demanded to see her immediate superior and then the director of public safety at Quincy Market. I want people to treat my wife with the proper and simple respect she deserves. She should be as free as anybody to be where she has a right to be whether or not she is by herself.

That woman ruined what had been a nice day for Deb and me, and ruined Deb from feeling free to be in Quincy Market or elsewhere in Boston on her own, or even go there with me because there will be times when I won't be right there sitting next her and there will be people like that security guard who will find something wrong with that.

Deb and I are extremely upset that she gets treated that way when on her own. Last year it was a policeman in Randolph who treated her that way. Today it was that security guard at Quincy Market in Boston.

Please pray that these people will learn to treat DebbieLynne and all people with disabilities with the common respect everyone deserves whether they are with others or by themselves.