Doing What We Can for Each Other

Since both my wife Deb and I have been disabled since childhood, we are limited in what we can do for each other. She'd love to prepare meals for me, but since she physically can't do that, she does all she can to see that I eat healthy. She finds good recipes online, modifies them to fit my dietary restrictions, then prints them out so her attendant can shop for the ingredients and cook the meals for us.

She knows I like old movies, so she browses online and picks out ones for us to view when they come in the mail from Netflix.

She knows I enjoy driving both our chairs at the same time when we're out and about, so she often lets me do that even though she's quite capable of operating the joystick of her chair by pushing on it with her head.

It is a privilege and a pleasure for us to do what we can for each other.

During the storm that just came through, when Deb's regular attendants couldn't get here, I helped out a bit more than usual. Back-up attendants aren't as familiar with how things are done so I helped out with explaining things and assisting when I could.

Most days, unless I'm sick, we have lunch and supper by ourselves. The food has already been cooked and frozen, so all I have to do is thaw and microwave it. We both like it that way, rather than having the extra company of an attendant sharing the table with us. At lunch time we even usually have music playing. DebbieLynne picks out music she knows I like and plays it on her computer.

In the morning, after my attendant gets me up, and before DebbieLynne's attendant gets her up, we usually have time to pray while I massage her feet for a few minutes. One of Deb's feet has especially poor circulation since (for some reason) she doesn't ever do any walking. Even my massaging that foot in the morning hadn't helped much. But yesterday the back-up attendant explained that if the lower leg isn't also massaged, the blood pooled in the foot won't have any place to go. So we tried that this morning and her foot looked much better after just a few minutes!

Deb and I can't do a lot of things for one another. But what we can do, we are so glad to do. You see, after just over ten years of marriage, we're still very much in love with one another.

Back in Time For Lunch Today

Most of the time DebbieLynne and I go out together. One day last week we went into Boston and had lunch at Quincy Market and then went to the new Tea Party and Ships Museum. Later in the week we went to the South Shore Plaza to do a little shopping at Sears and Targets.

Today, however, I had an eye exam just a 2 mile bus ride down Main Street, so I went by myself. The exam was scheduled for 1 o'clock so I had to leave shortly before noon to be sure to be there on time. That was a bit too early for us to have lunch before I left, so we decided we'd eat when I got back.

DebbieLynne had her morning personal care attendant make up sandwiches and put them in the refrigerator so they'd be ready when I got back.

I'm glad I left a little early to get to the appointment because Main Street in the center of town had been scraped down to make ready for a new surface. But I found a place to safely cross in my wheelchair just in time to get the next bus down to the eye doctor's office.

The exam was completed by 2 o'clock and about a half hour later the bus came along and it brought me back to the center of town so I could wheel back home to our apartment. It was a little after 3 when I came through the door to see my darling DebbieLynne.

While I was out DebbieLynne had read the blog post I made this morning on my I Ponder Today blog and discovered a typo I'd made.. I appreciate her finding it and letting me know so I could fix it.

She also let me know that she'd written up some fun questions to ask people who come to the party in a few weeks to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary.

But before fixing my blog post or reading the list of questions I got the sandwiches out of the 'fridge and she had her cheese sandwich and I had my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. A simple lunch to be sure, but I do so enjoy sharing all our meals again. That 2 and a half months of my being in the hospital meant many days of  not even seeing one another let alone not being able to eat together.

I hope all of you married couples take take to cherish the times you get to be together. If God has blessed you with time together I hope you thank Him and let your wife or your husband know how much you appreciate being with them whenever you can.

I am still learning how to better express love to my wife. I'd appreciate your prayers for me as I seek to do ever better at loving her in both in word and deed.

Thank you all for your prayers for us.

Things Often Don't Go As We Expect

When I went for my analoscopy we expected that an internal hemorrhoid was the cause of my bleeding. But it turned out to be colon cancer.

When I went in for the colonoscopy to examine the rest of my colon, we expected I'd be home by the end of  the day, and prayed that things would go well. But right after the colonoscopy I had a heart attack and had to be admitted to the hospital.

Following the heart procedures to clear the blockage and put in a stint, we hoped and prayed that I would be able to spend at least a few days at home prior to my colon surgery 6 weeks after the heart was repaired. But I'm still here in the rehab hospital, with just five more days until the operation.

Arrangements had been made for DebbieLynne to come here tomorrow afternoon for a nice visit of a couple of hours. But this morning I learned that the pre-op tests and evaluations can't be done here at the rehab hospital so I'll have to be brought to Mass. General tomorrow which will tie up all afternoon. So there will be no visit with Deb tomorrow!

Once again things have not gone as we hoped and expected. Thankfully the person who was going to bring her here tomorrow for a longer visit will be able to get DebbieLynne here for a shorter visit later this afternoon. So we'll have some time together before Tuesday.

But we have to wonder. Will the operation on Tuesday go as we hope and pray and expect? Please continue to keep us in prayer. Has this time of my being hospitalized since my colonoscopy and heart attack been to help me be physically ready to survive the surgery and recover, or has it been to prepare DebbieLynne to handle life without me by her side?

We hope the surgery will go well and that after some weeks of recovery I'll be able to return home to be with my beloved DebbieLynne. She plans to arrive at the hospital during the latter part of the operation and a Christian friend will stay with her to help support her during that difficult time. Hopefully they'll get to rejoice together by the end of the afternoon if I'm awake and can let them know I'm OK.

Please do keep DebbieLynne in prayer. If I don't survive the surgery, I'll be with Jesus with no more problems of any kind. But DebbieLynne will be hurting badly. I don't want that to happen. I pray that it doesn't happen. I don't expect that it will happen. But things do not always go as we expect. So please continue to pray...and if God doesn't answer our prayers in the way we want and hope and expect He will, please help DebbieLynne however you can whenever you can.

I thank all of you for what you have done and will do for my beloved DebbieLynne. Hopefully I'll be around for a long time to do whatever I can for my sweetheart.

Day Before My Colonoscopy

Deb and I are concerned about my colonoscopy tomorrow, We are praying it won't discover any additional areas of colon cancer other than one discovered earlier this month. And we're praying that there won't be any complications that could prevent my coming home from the hospital after the procedure.

She only managed to sleep a few hours last night. I intermittently slept a little more than that, but one of the times that I awoke was due to the BiPap oral mouthpiece having slipped down below my upper lip, setting off the air leakage alarm.

In about 45 minutes I will start drinking the 4 liters of the "Nulitely" liquid, 8 ounces at at time every 10 to 15 minutes, to thoroughly empty out my colon. Tomorrow morning two of the men from church plan to drive me in to the hospital, and bring the new BiPap with us.

Deb just suggested I try using the full face mask when I can today. That's a good idea because it might be more apt to stay in place and not leak. She is such a blessing to me in so many ways. She does all she can to look after my needs, whether they be for my health, or encouragement, or refreshment, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

She so wishes she could at the hospital with me tomorrow. But since we don't know when I'll be coming home, if she took the paratransit van in she might end up being there or in a time consuming shared ride home if I get to return home early tomorrow afternoon. So she'll have to stay home and wait for a call as to how things go.

An anesthesiologist will be on hand during my colonoscopy, and a pulmonary doctor will see me when I arrive and will be available if and when needed, so precautions are being taken to help assure things will go as smoothly as possible.

The medical staff will do what they've been trained to do as best they can do it. But we know that God can both enable them to do their jobs well, and He can do things they are not able to do. So we ask for your prayers for them, and for Deb and me.

Deb and I are members of the mission's committee at our church, with the monthly meetings usually held at our apartment. This month's meeting was last night and before the other members left they prayed for both of us. We very much appreciated both their being here last night and that they prayed for us.


OK, Deb just reminded me that it is now noon. Time to start drinking the "Nulitely". So I'll close for now and hopefully be able to do at least a brief post late tomorrow, or perhaps the next day.

Thanks for reading this and for your prayers.