Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Doing What We Can for Each Other

Since both my wife Deb and I have been disabled since childhood, we are limited in what we can do for each other. She'd love to prepare meals for me, but since she physically can't do that, she does all she can to see that I eat healthy. She finds good recipes online, modifies them to fit my dietary restrictions, then prints them out so her attendant can shop for the ingredients and cook the meals for us.

She knows I like old movies, so she browses online and picks out ones for us to view when they come in the mail from Netflix.

She knows I enjoy driving both our chairs at the same time when we're out and about, so she often lets me do that even though she's quite capable of operating the joystick of her chair by pushing on it with her head.

It is a privilege and a pleasure for us to do what we can for each other.

During the storm that just came through, when Deb's regular attendants couldn't get here, I helped out a bit more than usual. Back-up attendants aren't as familiar with how things are done so I helped out with explaining things and assisting when I could.

Most days, unless I'm sick, we have lunch and supper by ourselves. The food has already been cooked and frozen, so all I have to do is thaw and microwave it. We both like it that way, rather than having the extra company of an attendant sharing the table with us. At lunch time we even usually have music playing. DebbieLynne picks out music she knows I like and plays it on her computer.

In the morning, after my attendant gets me up, and before DebbieLynne's attendant gets her up, we usually have time to pray while I massage her feet for a few minutes. One of Deb's feet has especially poor circulation since (for some reason) she doesn't ever do any walking. Even my massaging that foot in the morning hadn't helped much. But yesterday the back-up attendant explained that if the lower leg isn't also massaged, the blood pooled in the foot won't have any place to go. So we tried that this morning and her foot looked much better after just a few minutes!

Deb and I can't do a lot of things for one another. But what we can do, we are so glad to do. You see, after just over ten years of marriage, we're still very much in love with one another.


  1. That is one of the joys of a good marriage. Jack has taken to helping me more cooking meals since the time I can tolerate standing some days is only a few minutes and I am learning to cook quicker and simpler meals as well. I gave up making laundry soap and some other things but there are other ways I can do for my beloved. Huggles to you both.

  2. Thanks for your comment and the huggles sent our way for both DebblieLynne and me. I am so glad that you and Jack appreciate each other so much and find ways to demonstrate your love for one another.